Hewhoismighty.blogspot.com

  I just had a very simple and yet profound messenger chat with the young man I’m talking to. I really like him, but the problem is he lives in Rwanda. So FAR!   And, kinda suspicious, I know, there are many scammers out there. He was wary of me too, but we trust each other now. He took a video of his church service, we’ve video chatted several times, he looks like all the pictures he’s sent (FINE!) he had me talk to one of his friends from the US the other day to let me know he’s legit, and also he wants to introduce me to all his family and friends! I told him it’d be a while before I made it to Rwanda, like maybe next year over my birthday?   So, we’ll see by then what’s up. He really is handsome, I mean, I just look at his picture and think, wow. That’s totally besides the point. He is sending me a gift already, he said I should get it next week! I was like, I have some ideas what I would like to give you, but I’m kinda waiting to see what he’s gotten me to know wha...

  Second thoughts…   Sorry I took down last night’s post. It tore down someone who maybe didn’t deserve it. Yes, he let me down, but if I’m honest, a lot of people let me down during that time. Maybe they all thought they were helping me, and maybe I wasn’t ready to receive help. I don’t know. Jenny Weaver asked on FB if I think all mental illness is demons. I’m not sure. I think a lot is demons actually, but that means virtually all psychiatrists would deny that possibility as almost all of them are athiests and certainly do not believe in the supernatural. But like, in 2009 I rebuked demons in myself, and then in people around me in the hospital, and I saw things you don’t normally see, and I saw hope restored in people that were bound. I wanted to see that in 2021 but loud Pentecostals shouting at the devil get shots. There’s something ironically demonic about psych wards, they are there to help people but they are actually keeping people bound to their demons by pump...

  I’ve thought a lot about destiny lately. Trying to discern what is my destiny. Not wanting to lose out on my destiny. Not wanting my destiny stolen by the devil. To my reformed friend’s chagrin, I think you can lose your destiny. I’m not saying we can’t rest in God’s sovereignty, but there is a time where you have to fight for your destiny, you have to be willing to fight for your destiny, you have to protect your destiny from the devil’s wiles.                When Israel entered the promised land, when they entered Canaan, they had to fight and kill the residents of those cities who were doing detestable things before the Lord and worshipping idols. It’s true that, at Jericho, God made the walls fall down. But when the walls fell, the Israelites had to go up and take the city. So God did the miraculous, but He also empowered them for the battle as well, and they went in faith.     ...

  I’m not clear about PSS (Peer Support Specialist) and I feel like God wants me to go for canvassing for Villa, but, the partial hospitalization program I was in that I love does have a pss position open, so maybe I should look into that… they would really grill me though because my last day there, I gave everyone a letter saying the covid 19 vaccine is the MOTB and I think a lot of people visited my blog that night, thought this girl is absolutely insane, and yeah… I don’t know if they’d want me there. And if they asked, do you think you are a prophet, I don’t know what I would say, but I wouldn’t say, no of course not. God gives us our identities for a reason. We shouldn’t deny them.   The BIGGER dream and vision I have now, is to start a ministry like the partial hospitalization program for all those who need it! No insurance, no problem. Picky insurance, no problem. I would probably have a sliding scale set up – you take things more seriously when you have skin in the...

  I know you wanna know what happened, what I decided about the Remote Closers Academy. So, the dream left me feeling more uneasy and icky about that opportunity. I don’t know, I’m sure the people I dealt with meant well, and I’m sure I could make a buttload of money doing it. But, I didn’t feel God’s permission to do it, like, He wants to bless me but that’s not the way, wait, and also, I thought about it, to sign up I’d have to sneak behind my mom’s back, because she wouldn’t approve, and it would just be more damaging to our relationship. I’d lose her trust. We already have a very strained relationship. I guess work wise I’m thinking about Pella! There are quotas, so I’ve been praying already about it, help hitting them every week, and hitting them before Sundays so I don’t have to work Sunday afternoons… I am nervous, maybe more nervous than when I started with Brio, because my past experience isn’t success. So it’s unnerving. But I wanna do it. I want to be awesome at it. ...

  I just woke up from a dream. In it, there was a young woman who was teaching me. I was the only student. But suddenly I was aware she was hypnotizing me. Whatever she said I listened to her voice. She said try to make a decision, and the best I could think of was choosing a color. At first I saw red, and then I was like no Carolina Blue, and I saw that. Then, there was a man in the classroom, and he said blue, and all I could think of was blue, and then green, and whatever he said I thought, but I was panicking trying to wake up, although it did feel good to relax and not think and let them tell me what to think. But it scared me, too. I have three possible new jobs at once.   One involves surfing the web, which… would be convenient to make my own schedule… I don’t know, in some ways I can make my own schedule for all these opportunities. But working from home seems nice. The second, I can work for a local company canvassing. I’m nervous because my first canvassing job, I ...

 So... I feel like the original intent of this blog was to help me process my time in the hospital, with Antonio, etc. I think I was going to explore another book also, but... I'm on another project entirely, actually, and I could use your prayers for it. It is good though. I just, I started strong and now I've gotten distracted and I need to regain my focus so I can get it done. I'll let you know when it's ready, but, just say a prayer for me about it.  Anyhow... I thought about ending the blog again, I don't know why I end one and start another but my brain does. I'm sure I'll do that soon enough, but I may just still randomly write on here to get thoughts out.  I just need time management. Easier said that done. Well, I know how.  But... sometimes when others are involved things don't go as planned, as everyone knows.  I went to a conference last weekend, it was good... it was funny there were three different speakers, all good, but not a unified them...