Job opportunities

 

I just woke up from a dream. In it, there was a young woman who was teaching me. I was the only student. But suddenly I was aware she was hypnotizing me. Whatever she said I listened to her voice. She said try to make a decision, and the best I could think of was choosing a color. At first I saw red, and then I was like no Carolina Blue, and I saw that. Then, there was a man in the classroom, and he said blue, and all I could think of was blue, and then green, and whatever he said I thought, but I was panicking trying to wake up, although it did feel good to relax and not think and let them tell me what to think. But it scared me, too.

I have three possible new jobs at once.  One involves surfing the web, which… would be convenient to make my own schedule… I don’t know, in some ways I can make my own schedule for all these opportunities. But working from home seems nice. The second, I can work for a local company canvassing. I’m nervous because my first canvassing job, I wasn’t super good at. But part of me wants to prove I can do it. There are weekly quotas, which make me nervous, but I would have the support of my trainer, and if after a few months it didn’t work out it would be okay I guess. He said I can choose how many hours I work and when I work, and I’d be out of the house. This could be good because right now, I’m struggling getting along with my mom, and part of this I think is, I need some space away from her. I don’t know, pray about that whole situation. My confidence that God will heal her is shaken because I just don’t see how, or when. So part of me is resentful towards her, and even a little towards God. Why would He tell me something so cool and then not do it? How can it not be the right time yet? I’m dying inside. Mom and I’s relationship is so rocky, and friends tell me it’s because I’m burnt out of caretaking, and my responsibilities to her are keeping me from having just a normal healthy mother daughter relationship with her. Mom just thinks I have a temper and a meds problem. Sometimes though, she deliberately provokes me, and it makes me so angry for days because I’m trying so freakin hard to NOT get so upset and angry at her, but it’s like she just wants to push every button to watch me lose it. I hate myself for the person I feel like I’m becoming. Jamie says I need to see myself the way God sees me and then the behavior change will come. But that’s so hard.

The third opportunity is really more education and access into the elite world of big money. I would buy into a training program to become a remote closer. Or an appointment setter. Closers make more, but setters can make a lot too, I’d be trained to do both and would do both eventually. The school has partnerships with big money industries- think Tony Robbins, Dean Gratziosi, Brendan Burchard, Grant Cardone… those are big names a lot of people recognize, but it’s hundreds more companies with high ticket programs they sell. Like, $5000-$10000 training programs. Sometimes it’s life coaches. This is kindof how I know the game is played. I spent $10000 myself on a dating coach. I actually took out a credit card to pay for it, I didn’t have a job but lied to get the card. It’s so strange. I screwed myself financially, but in the end I’m glad I did, because even though I’m single, I like what Jonah taught me. And to him, money is just a game. It is just created and flows to him.

Part of the sales process… you see an ad that provokes your interest. It pulls you into a webinar. It provokes your interest. You are growing from a lead, to a warm lead, to a really hot lead. The webinar has you speak to someone to set an appointment with a specialist. The setter asks questions to know if you’re a good fit for the program (if you have money or access to money.) if so they set the appointment. At this point, you talk with a closer, and they ask questions to make sure you’re a good fit. They ask why questions, and get to your pain points. Why are you really interested in this program, what would you do with the money, how would your life change, etc. You know you’re being sold. You know what’s going on. You see how easy it is to do. They’ve mastered sales psychology. It is so easy with a piping hot lead desperate for change. And, you close the sale. And, you don’t feel bad about taking so much money because in the end it will help that person. Like with this program, I would master these skills and then have access to all the clients they work with for a job, and be trained how to find a job myself if I didn’t see what I liked. And… okay, this is cool, lets say I work for a life coach, I’ll have access to their program, can learn it myself, and eventually create my own business as a life coach! And we know they charge $10,000 plus per client, the money, the MONEY in this GAME is RIDICULOUS. It’s just thrown all over the place. Or, I had wanted to do an air BNB business. Same thing, I’d have access to that program and be able to do it myself without paying for it. Oh, closers make 10% of their sales at least, and setters have both a salary and commissions on the appointments they make. So much money floating around.

So, you’re paying for access into a high ticket world. An industry that will grow from $5,000,000,000 to $50,000,000,000 in the next 5, 10, 20 years?  It’s not where most people I know live, and most would be uncomfortable with it. Most just wouldn’t pay the money to get in. But part of me wants to. Oh the changes I could make in my life with freakin tons of money! And, if I could pay for others to take care of mom instead of being the one doing it, that would solve that problem. I don’t want to put her in a nursing home. Although she’s getting worse and if things don’t change she’s headed there. What if I could afford a decent nursing home, instead of her relegated to whatever sh*thole Medicaid would put her in. I’m sorry but you know, poor people get poor treatment at the end of their life. Another reason I don’t want to be poor myself. I want to be able to retire one day, I want passive income somehow, and I never want to rely on the state. Ever. I’m always insulted when someone suggests going on disability. Leave that reliance on the state for people who literally cannot do anything for themselves. Don’t put that trap of poverty on me. Never. There’s no security in the state taking care of you.

I’m just, do I want to be part of a game of hypnotism? Is there a part of taking advantage of desperate people going on? Would I just justify it in my mind? Would I be able to sleep at night? Would I really think it’s all a silly game and fun to hook new people into?

When I woke up from my dream I knew it was about this situation I’m in, I’m being worked over, hypnotized. Part of me wants to relax. Part of me is fighting to wake up. I just… if you’ve been in sales, you know, hot leads are a dream. Door knocking – getting yelled at and cops called on you – is that really what I want to step back into? It would be decent money, but not like Remote Closers Academy type money.  But I don’t know, there are things I like about it as well. But I do get nervous on the doorstep, I really wasn’t very good before. Can I do it?  It’s super cold leads, not piping hot leads.

The other thing is, I am having a hard time making time to write. I’m not sure if I should not worry about another job, and just write. But, part of me wants out of the house. Or a path to independence. I’m here because of many many many choices I’ve made over the years, and the only way it will change is if I own all of those decisions.

I am trying to make choices to move forward even though I have a fear that everything in the world is about to change for the worse, because, I can’t live in fear. It’s no way to live. You need hope to grow.

The love of money is the root of all evil. What does God think about this money industry? I’m sure there’s some gray area. But… making a lot of money isn’t bad. And I’m sorry I have no desire to go get another degree, go into more debt for grad school, and not have a path to financial freedom in the end. The university system is a joke. I wouldn’t send my kids to college. Too much brainwashing, not enough training for the real world, why get a 4 year degree and spend tons of money to learn entrepreneurship from a professor who’s never done it themselves, when you can invest a mere $10,000 into a program to do it yourself and learn from an expert doing it, actually doing it and making tons of money? I am glad I have my bachelor's degree, but I regret my attempt at a masters, and even the bachelors, I’ve never made much money with it. It was the college experience I’m glad I had, but I don’t know, it wasn’t a way to make money.

So… thankfully I bought myself some time. I’m not talking to the closer until tonight at 8:30. I’m going to a prayer meeting before, and I’m hoping for some insight on the decision. I’m not going to talk to people who would never in a million years do it, because their decisions are not mine. I am willing to take a calculated risk when there is great reward. I just want to know if God wants me doing it. I guess part of me wants to make sure I have money for some international opportunities, and doing a wilderness experience in CO next summer. I don’t want to lower my standard of living for a subpar budget. I want to dream big and figure out what it takes to get there, and do that. So many just give up on their dreams. I’m tired of that small minded mentality. A guy I dated a few times had this small minded mentality and tried to sell it to me as what God wanted. I’m like, if you aren’t money motivated, fine, but don’t try to convince me it’s wrong, when God has no problem with us making a lot of money. It’s how, and how you steward what He gives you, that’s important. If you only want to make $25,000 a year, stay in student loan debt your whole life, never have savings, never do cool things, that’s you. You do you. But stay in your lane, cause there’s a whole lot I want to do, and this is still America where things are possible that are unheard of anywhere else in the world.  Although communism and fascism and socialism and Marxism have crept in and are destroying the greatest experiment ever. But I’m not worrying about that. One day at a time.

So, I guess, I’d appreciate your prayers. Also pray I don’t fall asleep driving, I’m wide awake but it’s 5:00 am, I have to be somewhere at 6:30 am, and then it’s go all day long.