Hewhoismighty.blogspot.com

  So… it’s been interesting for me to reflect on my different church experiences lately. I grew up in an evangelical Southern Baptist church, which I do love and am grateful for the way it shaped and molded my faith. In college God led me to a similar, like-minded Southern Baptist church. In Colorado I also eventually wound up at a Southern Baptist church. When I moved back to North Carolina, I resisted the pull to my home church at first, but really it was only a matter of time before I wound up back there. Then, some interesting things went down with my small group and it split off and I split off to a different church, a small PCA church. Then I ended up going back to the church plant of my small group, and they ended up joining the PCA as well. And then… 2020 happened. So, what I love about Southern Baptist churches, or at least the ones I’ve been blessed to be a part of, is, they are very missions oriented. They are looking for people to share the Gospel with locally and abr...

  I heard you singing last night I heard you in a tune Indeed I heard your message Filled the entire room                “I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life… Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone…” It is a catchy tune I had to sing along It made me stop and dance a bit Oh what a funny song   I got the message loud and clear Crystal clear you see You’re ready for those messages To stop coming from me   I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or upset If I hadn’t said what I said I’d always live with regret   The truth is there are many conflicting messages in this world And our best conception Is based on skewed perceptions That point to mass deception So many lies Dressed in disquise How do they propitiate Mass media let’s get it straight   If you know me You know how I feel about the TV   And yet I must spa...

  So… music has always meant a lot to me in every season. And there have been seasons I’ve had very different thoughts about whether one should listen to anything other than Christian music.   I saw this one documentary in 2009 called, They Sold their Souls for Rock and Roll. It detailed the history of rock and the dark side of it. I was in a manic state and broke all my secular CDs. I regretted that later. Then, I learned about how famous musicians have ties to freemasonry and other occult things. But my mom is a music connoisseur and she’s had me play music appreciation the past two years. She picks a song I should know, could be from the 70s, could be from today. But, it’s been fun to listen to the stories in the music. I heard one online preacher say recently that Christians should only listen to Christian music. Well… maybe this is reformed thinking coming out of me, but I’ve come to the conclusion that if something is beautiful, it brings God glory, because God gives...

  The Bait of Satan   It’s a book John Bevere wrote. I first heard about it a few years ago but didn’t read it then, but it’s been on my radar. I don’t know that anyone told me what the bait is at that point. But the book (and other resources for it) has finally reached my hand. Actually, it’s pretty cool what God showed me to help me study. I do love to read, but haven’t been as able to read lately. I’ve really struggled to make time for it. So, I got the book but thought, I need to listen to it if I want to finish it soon. So I looked on YouTube. And of course, there was a ton of times John has preached or spoken about the book posted, and materials from the book. God had me listen to one sermon though, and at the end, John said, if you enjoyed this message, we’ve created an app for free for anyone in the world to be able to study this book and all the books my wife and I have written!   MessengerX.   So I downloaded it and have been going through the study w...

  I’ve been contemplating about suffering some lately. I feel my life circumstances are kindof forcing the thoughts in a very uncomfortable way. It’s funny though, in my Bible reading I’m in Job. I’ve been hem-hawing and taking longer than I should in getting through it, because the poetry isn’t my favorite to read and grasp. But this morning it dawned on me, maybe I need to reflect more on the overall themes of Job to see how they might apply to my life. Growing up, I was no stranger to suffering. My dad committed suicide when I was three, and my mom struggled to raise my brother and I while dealing with a crippling problem that left her handicapped and continually digressing in her abilities to get around and function in society. Now, that said, I realize it could have been a lot worse, and I’m grateful those are the main problems I’ve had to deal with. Maybe my life wasn’t perfect, but it still was pretty insulated from some of the really ugly things in this world. So, I reall...

  So… I was just thinking… you may be thinking, what gives with the apple juice when you were in the hospital?   Did it give you superpowers or something? Why did the sugar get to you?   No superpowers in apple juice, that I know of. I just like it a lot. And it’s pure, 100% juice. No additives. So, the first night when Antonio and I were walking around the hall together, I was asking him about things, like the vaccine, and food shortages, and water shortages, and he told me all these things will happen. Really I was upset about my meds. I had stopped them two days ago and was just fine thank you very much. (I don’t know I always think I’m fine off my meds, but others who know me may beg to differ…) But… this time I was like, the meds are bad because they keep you from giving 100% in your battle against spirit husband. Okay, so I’ve had my spirit husband problem many years. At times it has probably lingered because I enjoyed it. But, if I understand things better ...

  So… I’m not really a big dancer.   At least, not like, freestyle dancing. I’m too self-conscious for it! I mean… no, I’ll pass on that. Now I do enjoy dancing with a partner, mostly because they lead and it’s easy to follow… (with most partners, that is.)   I mean, I enjoyed swing dancing in high school, and I took ballroom dancing in college which was fun… I enjoy watching others dance, I just… not for me! Except for this one night… Antonio had told me the television was actually all about me! Which… apparently is a manic thing. But when you’re in the hospital, you are on camera the entire time, so it’s not really a stretch to think people could be watching you. Like, maybe a lot of people are watching you. Like, a Superbowl Stadium full of people cheering is watching you. Now… the thing is, I was trying to not watch any TV while I was up there, on principle. I believe, and still do believe, the TV is used to brainwash people with propaganda, you watch TV PROGR...

 A few quick caveats about the blog... I haven't written in months, so sorry if my posts are repetitive, I just don't remember what I've written already. I do know, writing is a form of self care for me that I've neglected, and now I want to care for myself better because I'm beyond burnt out in caring for my mom. I really need to get away. Like far away. Maybe half across the world away. I'm plotting my escape. (No, I'm not planning on running away as maybe I did in the past. I am planning on having some direct conversations with mom soon.)  Anyhow, I do want to be a better poster. I mean, post more frequently, not have a better picture for my room. I am kind of delusional now. I am really playing with fire with sleep right now.  Wow, 30 min after I started writing this I told mom I was burnt out and she finally said she's ready to go to a home. And I think she meant it. But it's like, oh, if she moves I have to move as well, and I've gotta be w...

  So… some people meet Jesus at their summer camp in youth group, and some might meet Him on a missions trip to the inner city. Some people meet Him in jail. Some people meet Him in college. I don’t know. I actually think a lot of people meet Him at the hospital.                That’s where I met Him. In the psych ward!                When I was still in the E.R. area, waiting to get onto the floor, He came crashing in! I mean, there was some commotion, and I didn’t know what was going on, but I can be nosy, so when it calmed down I went out and looked into the other room, and this cute black young man was looking at me and talking to me! And He was talking to me like He knew me! He was excited! And I was excited too, wow it had been a crazy day. Then the staff told me I had to go back to my room, but the young man, he was saying, “I’m Jude...