brief thoughts about suffering as a Christian

 

I’ve been contemplating about suffering some lately. I feel my life circumstances are kindof forcing the thoughts in a very uncomfortable way. It’s funny though, in my Bible reading I’m in Job. I’ve been hem-hawing and taking longer than I should in getting through it, because the poetry isn’t my favorite to read and grasp. But this morning it dawned on me, maybe I need to reflect more on the overall themes of Job to see how they might apply to my life.

Growing up, I was no stranger to suffering. My dad committed suicide when I was three, and my mom struggled to raise my brother and I while dealing with a crippling problem that left her handicapped and continually digressing in her abilities to get around and function in society. Now, that said, I realize it could have been a lot worse, and I’m grateful those are the main problems I’ve had to deal with. Maybe my life wasn’t perfect, but it still was pretty insulated from some of the really ugly things in this world. So, I really do have a lot of gratitude for my childhood and youth. I have seen God provide for my family over and over and over, and I have learned to rely on God as my heavenly father.  I’ve had many people step in to help our family, many father figures who have blessed me, I really have not wanted for anything.

But I never would have imagined this turn in my life, that I would be stuck as my mom’s caretaker.

Maybe my questions are stemming from questioning the very nature of suffering. Why does God allow it? Should Christians experience suffering, since Christ died on the cross and suffered for us? What is the greater purpose in suffering in a broken and fallen world? 

Maybe a simplistic answer to why God allows suffering on earth is that He allows free will. I know that sets off my reformed friends, just mentioning free will, but it’s true. But in Job we see that suffering is a furnace of shifting and testing Job’s faith, proving it at the devil’s scoffing. Although Job himself never knows what went on in heaven before everything happened to him. Most of the time, we won’t see what’s behind the scenes of our suffering.

I think to me the obvious answer to whether Christians should experience suffering is yes, we are called to take up our cross daily and follow Him. However, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I don’t know. Ever since I read that book on healing and have been in this breaking curses group, I’ve seen more testimonies of deliverance happening and then the floodgates of God’s blessings opening. I think… curses operate more than our modern world would admit. Sometimes we think we’re suffering for God when we’re under a curse God means for us to break. But… even at that, I think all suffering is redeemable in a Christian’s life, because it points to the supremacy of Christ in a broken world. Even though my world is falling apart, I have hope in Christ, and therefore, I have peace, rest, shalom. He is greater than my momentary afflictions. And that is a good perspective to have as well, that our afflictions in this life are momentary, a blip on this side of eternity. Still… when we can’t escape our suffering, it is easy to ask, Why?

I know that for me, there is a huge strain in my relationship with my mom. There are a lot of wounds, there’s a lot that needs to be healed. There is a lot of anger and hostility. There is a lot of defensiveness and hurt.

But I’m hopeful that, as I allow Christ to heal me, that healing will flow into our relationship as well. It may not happen overnight, but over time, we might see something beautiful unfold.