Hewhoismighty.blogspot.com

  Healing is on my heart. I would love to see my mom be healed of her lymphedema. However, she doesn’t believe it’s possible, or that God want to heal her. It makes me sad, to think that she thinks God just wants her to suffer, that He’s been happy that she’s suffered the past 40 years with this, that because it has happened this way it is His perfect will. God’s will is something I haven’t studied extensively. I did read Just Do Something several years ago and should re-read it I’m sure. But I was listening to a pastor preach about God’s Perfect Will and God’s permissive will. He was going after reformed thinkers who always attribute everything to God’s Sovereign will, and he said, we’re going to get to heaven and be surprised at what God allowed and tolerated that was not His perfect will. Anyhow... God uses pain and suffering in many different ways to bring His children close to Him, but I think He’s redeeming circumstances when He would rather change them completely and heal hi...

My old seminary professor wrote about depression recently. He had some intense struggles. He said it’s like, when you don’t want to die, but you don’t really want to live. It’s a dark place to be. I guess everyone has a little depression sometimes, when circumstances go awry. Someone you love dies, or gets sick, or something really big and important doesn’t go the way you’d planned. It’s a slippery slope for some though, when the fog never lifts. The thing with bi-polar is, you swing between highs and lows. And when you swing really really high, there’s going to be a low low. The question is more a matter of when it will happen, not if it will happen. I don’t know that I know what triggered my depression when it hit in 2009. Loneliness, self-loathing, jealousy, feeling hopeless and like circumstances would never change. Nothing like feeling trapped in a life you didn’t want and didn’t ask for. I was depressed for a good 10 years. That’s a long time to be depressed. I did strugg...

  Wow it’s been two weeks and I haven’t posted!   I’m sorry. Today is the first day I had to breathe a little. It’s been constant doing for my mom or at work, and helping mom often goes well into the next day, so waking up early is very rare. It’s frustrating, I know my best time would be from 6-9.   So this post will be short. I keep eating in my dreams, and one dream I had I ate meat, and this is terrible in the spirit world. It’s a sign of witchcraft attack. So, I’m currently working through what open doors I may have to this problem.   One is bitterness. Now, I’ve spent too much of my life being bitter, so I have really tried to deal with it, confess it, repent. But I can tell it’s sneaking back up on me. I told my mom about the book I’m excited about a week or so ago. Last night I read some to her. I’m not sure she heard anything of what I read. She doesn’t believe God wants to heal her. She told me she was healed from cancer she could have died from. We...