A few quick thoughts about healing

 

Healing is on my heart. I would love to see my mom be healed of her lymphedema. However, she doesn’t believe it’s possible, or that God want to heal her. It makes me sad, to think that she thinks God just wants her to suffer, that He’s been happy that she’s suffered the past 40 years with this, that because it has happened this way it is His perfect will. God’s will is something I haven’t studied extensively. I did read Just Do Something several years ago and should re-read it I’m sure. But I was listening to a pastor preach about God’s Perfect Will and God’s permissive will. He was going after reformed thinkers who always attribute everything to God’s Sovereign will, and he said, we’re going to get to heaven and be surprised at what God allowed and tolerated that was not His perfect will. Anyhow... God uses pain and suffering in many different ways to bring His children close to Him, but I think He’s redeeming circumstances when He would rather change them completely and heal his children instead. I think things get in the way of our healing, our sin, curses, etc. And those blockades must be removed to experience God’s healing powers. That’s one reason I’m trying to get rid of the demons I have, to experience God’s healing myself. I have terrible sciatica nerve pain that’s getting worse it seems. I would love it to be gone. But I think the demons are in the way.  Also, I’m irked, I think the incubus worked on the past two young men who have started to pursue me. Both guys seemed really interested in me and then changed their minds to go after someone else suddenly. Spirit husband keeps men from seeing you.

So, you can pray for me, I am having a deliverance prayer session with a young woman Oct. 8, and I’m nervous it won’t get all the demons. I joined a deliverance ministry online where you pay each month for access… but I would take the classes and not seem to get anything out of them, so I think I’m going to disenroll. I should have watched the courses many times though and I didn’t so… Pray that we can get rid of these demons, that they would not be able to hide but would get out… I don’t know, depending on how it goes I may need to meet with Jamie a few times to pray. We’ll see.

Back to healing. Last night as we blessed our dinner, mom prayed for someone in her Bible Fellowship class that has a lot of health issues always going on, and she prayed for her healing. I wanted to say, if you can pray for someone else’s healing why won’t you pray for your own?  Why pray for healing at all if you don’t believe God wants to or can heal someone? Do you believe God still heals today? Or was your prayer a way of saying I feel sorry for you?  I’m not good at talking to my mom about this, because I get defensive, then sassy, and not gracious or safe to talk with. I need help with getting along with my mom. I’m out of patience with her. I’m not the best care-taker. Her needs are growing, her expectations are growing. I’m getting more frustrated particularly that my work/job situation revolves around her. But… also, I don’t know the source of my discontent. I don’t think selling life insurance will change it. Maybe it would. But I digress.

I have not experienced a miraculous healing. But I know people do, and I have hope it could happen in my life as well.