Random thoughts on Philippians 4:6-7

 

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Philippians 4:6-7

 

I’ve been chewing on these verses a lot the past few days. Wednesday night I went to a prayer meeting and was laid out, literally. One woman was praying for the spirit of anxiety and fear to come out, and the peace of Christ rule in me, and another – I don’t remember much of what she said, but she kept repeating that I have a transformed mind, a transformed mind, a transformed mind.

 

I didn’t realize I had that much anxiety, but maybe if you’ve read this blog, you do know I have anxiety. I’m anxious about what church I should go to, I’m anxious about friends, I’m anxious about whether talking to a man in Rwanda is a good idea or completely stupid, I’m anxious about how is God going to heal my mom, I’m anxious about whatever changes may happen soon in our society and if I’ll even have opportunities to do all these things God has put in my heart to do, I’m anxious about raising money to go to S. Asia, I’m anxious about the book(s) I feel led to write, I’m anxious about money (I’m not sure why I thought I could afford a trainer right now, when I make diddly squat at the ice cream shop and for mom…) sheesh!  And there’s probably more I’m anxious about, you know, that I’m not conscious about but I’m retaining in my body somehow…

 

Do not be troubled with cares.

Anxiety is defined as being characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency : WORRIED

 

Maybe I didn’t realize my uneasiness is extreme? I wouldn’t have said I was worried, but you know, you don’t say half the things going on in you to really anyone. But when you read don’t be anxious  about ANYTHING, you’re like, crap, there’s at least something going on in me!

My observation in these verses is this: God gives the command, then He tells you how you can follow and obey the command, and then He gives you the promise of keeping the command. So… and even with the how to help, you can’t get this one perfectly, but it’s so beautiful because it’s like, God wants us to experience this blessing of letting go of whatever control we pretend we have over our lives, and He knows the first step for it is, don’t be anxious, let go, don’t try to be in control, because we have to be able to come to Him without pretense to allow Him to actually take control. I mean, I really do think a lot of anxiety is about control. We can’t control our circumstances, so we worry. We can’t control the people around us, so we worry. So much we can’t control.

When we pray, we center our mind and heart on the one who is actually in control of everything, and we bring all our requests to Him in faith that He will work on our behalf. Obviously God knows our needs and requests, but we need to acknowledge them before Him to remind ourselves of our constant need of Him. And then, this promise of peace that passes understanding!  Peace from God will not make sense to the world, because the world does not know or believe in God and cannot experience it themselves. It's actually a really cool witness!  It’s like another distinction or flavor a Christian’s life should have. And that peace will guard both your heart and your mind! Your emotions and your rational thinking brain!

 

I’ve been thinking about the fruit of the flesh and the fruit of the spirit a lot too. That whole section is very convicting, and discouraging to me, because I feel like I’m in the flesh way too much. Particularly when it comes to getting along with my mom. I have a short temper, I yell, sometimes I say pretty mean things, I can pretty much overall suck as a daughter when I’m trying to help my mom sometimes. It doesn’t help that she knows what buttons to push to get me riled up, but it’s really not her fault, it’s my own angry heart.

How is it that your life starts to take on more fruit of the spirit than fruit of the flesh?  How does it gain the peace of God to distinguish you from the rest of the world?  One woman I listened to said, you have to die daily to your flesh. Daily put to death yourself. Ayeayeaye that sounds awful painful to me, I learned after 41 years I flinch at painful things and avoid them, so dying sounds painful and I’m not sure I want to go there???

 

But then again, isn’t it Jesus who said, whoever loses his life for my sake will find it?  Goodness all these paradoxical truths really keep your mind going.

 

I couldn’t sleep the other night and did a Marco Polo to a friend for about 30 minutes talking about these verses. And some other stuff. I wonder what she thought, like, oh my goodness Stacy is really out of it! I don’t really care, she just got like a mini sermon.  But then the part when I started crying and then venting about my problem with crying, what a mess.

 

But, all frustrations and anxieties over my problems with crying aside, that I need to carry to Jesus in prayer, it’s been really sweet meeting with Jesus in the morning these past several months. And late at night, too. I don’t know. I guess, I’m learning to flesh these verses out now, but I have a long long way to go.