In the little, humbling things

 

My latest idea of direction to go with in my life is to become both a public speaker (go ahead and laugh, the idea is pretty humorous…) and a life coach. My niche would be working with caregivers to help them find identity and purpose outside of their caretaking role. I think the need is there. We’ll see though. It takes some work to pull off a business like that, and I’m not sure my mom would support me, and since I live with her, it could put a cramp in things.

               It’s really funny though. So last night, and a lot recently, I’ve been thinking about Kilwins, and how resistant I was to working there. I was insulted by the pay, it just seemed like I should go anywhere else. But the longer I stayed, the more my heart grew for my co-workers. The owners of the store are nominally Christian, but, since I’ve been working there there’s only been one other Christian, and she injured her hands and can’t scoop ice cream anymore, so I don’t think she’ll be back. Which means, I am the lone Christian there.

               It’s strange, I’m not sure I’ve been alone before, I’ve been in the minority as a Christian, but usually there are others with me. There was one night where the trans man and the manager were talking about how JK Rowling is a transphobe, and we were the only three there, and I didn’t know if I should say, actually I agree with her, or keep my mouth shut. So I didn’t say anything. But it was awkward. And part of me wonders if my silence was a betrayal of the truth. I’ve felt guilty about it after listening to an interview on the voice of the martyrs radio. It’s easier to stay quiet than face persecution here.

               With the trans man… the woman who wants to be a man… I have not felt right to preach to her. I have felt I need to show her that Jesus was gentle and lowly. I’m not sure what her background with religion is, or where she stands with God now. Her husband has a wicca sticker on their car. I think about talking to her a lot, but I don’t know what to say or how to say what to say, or how to say without offense. That may be the kicker. When I call out transgenderism as a lie, it will offend her. But I just hope the blow wouldn’t prevent her from hearing the message of hope I would share with the gospel.

               With my manager… she has a lot going on. She’s not happy deep down, struggling, trying to keep it to herself, but people can see. I know she needs Jesus. But she’s very resistant to even talking about Jesus or faith at all. She’s also resistant to friendship outside of work, which is where it would be easier to talk about faith. I want to reach her, too, but I’m not sure how. I do have a feeling she’s attracted to my joy.

               There’s another assistant manager who’s also resistant to the Gospel, she doesn’t want anyone shoving religion down her throat. There’s another young woman who has a lot of misconceptions about God that I think she would talk about, but she’s about to leave and I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep in touch with her. And then, there’s a co-worker who’s spiritual but not religious, very perceptive, very smart, we don’t see eye to eye on the authority of the Bible, but I appreciate her read on people.

               Anyhow, I just was thinking last night, wouldn’t it be cool if everyone at Kilwin’s became a Christian? It’d be kinda crazy!  But it would be really cool, and I wonder if that’s part of why God has me there. It’s not a high paying glamourous important cool exotic job. It’s quite humbling. I’m 41 scooping ice cream.

               But I do enjoy the job. And the raise was nice.

               So this morning… I have been trying to get up earlier, but I’m doing good to get up at 6. Today though I had to work out at 6:30. So I got up at 5:00. And of course Focus on the Family came on, and I listened.

               They played an episode of Adventures in Odyssey. I don’t know the title of it, but it was very good. I won’t ruin it for you either. But it was about how God could take something humble and use it in an incredible way.

               This isn’t the life I wanted. I’ve tried to run from it, resist it, been frustrated angry and bitter over it. But, maybe God can use it after all. Please pray for me at Kilwin’s and my co-workers hearts to be attracted to the Gospel and the light in me.