Dr. Stella's Desperation

 

So… lately I have been very torn. I decided to not listen to my usual podcasts or shows on Brighteon for a while and just relax my brain a bit. I jumped into the Darren Hardy challenge this week to listen to a chapter of The Compound Effect every day. I need to write some concrete goals down to work towards. And it is true that putting in negative stuff affects you. That’s why I abstained from watching the news for years. Who wants that crap polluting your mind?

Anyhow, I did listen to a speech Dr. Stella Immanuel gave last week, recently. And I listened to her on YouTube recently as well. And there is a stark contrast with her posture and the posture of everyone else I know.

Dr. Stella is desperate for God to show up.

Dr. Stella knows we are in a dire situation.

Dr. Stella knows a lot of people are going to die and go to hell, and she is grieved for it.

Dr. Stella was crying out, pleading for Christians to wake up, to humble themselves and pray and seek God’s face and turn from their wicked ways, to have any chance to see God move and save some.

And I thought, I am not desperate. I am not hungry. I am too comfortable and full to feel my need.

Granted, I’ve been focused on my spirit husband problem and not thinking much about the rest of the world. It’s been off balance for sure. I haven’t prayed for the lost and unreached as diligently as I sometimes have in the past. Honestly, my prayer life has been way too me centered.

But I know things aren’t right in this world. I know. I know we are up schit’s creek without a paddle. I know I’m a sitting duck and will probably die. I don’t know what else I can possibly do that my mom will allow for to prepare for the worst.

I don’t know who to warn or how to warn. So do I just shut up and watch everything unfold? Pretend like things are fine, when they really aren’t? 

That’s what I feel like I’m doing right now, is pretending things are fine, when I know this is beyond borrowed time. What is my responsibility now?  One of my mom’s friends told me sharing my political opinions is unhealthy. I have issues with that on so many levels. But, I’m not talking about opinions now. I’m talking about the chain of events that is destined to happen in the near future. Other people who know, like Dr. Stella, are warning people, stock up on food and water people are going to starve. Prepare prepare prepare. Nuclear war is immanent. Get right with God, now.

I’d like to be desperate for God now, not when everything bad happens. I want to be solid with Him going into the storm instead of being blown all over the place wondering where He is.

So you know what I’m doing to try to get more desperate for God, right?

If you guessed FASTING, you’d be CORRECT.

I am going to stick to either fasting one or two meals right now. Although I may do full day fasts at least every other week. I just butt heads with my mom over fasting so much.

But, I just feel like, if you’re full, you’re so full you don’t want anything more. I want to be hungry. I want to be desperate like Dr. Stella.